Letting Go of Control
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” — General George S. Patton
Everybody likes to get things done. But the truth is, we all tend to carry our own expectations of how things should be done. And far too often, we want others to follow our script.
Make sure the dishes are stacked just so. Always dust first, then vacuum. Don’t take that road—it’s slower! Why did you do this? Why did you do that? Sound familiar?
I’ll admit—I’ve been guilty of this myself. I actually enjoy cleaning the house, and when others have offered to help, I’ve caught myself directing them step by step, telling them exactly how to do it. The problem was, no one was happy in that scenario. I wasn’t happy because things weren’t being done “my way,” and they weren’t happy because they felt micromanaged instead of appreciated. Looking back, I realize I was more focused on control than collaboration.
When we constantly push our methods and preferences onto others, it sends a message we may not intend: that we don’t respect or trust them or their ideas. Even worse, we risk missing out on discovering new ways to accomplish something—ways we might never have considered ourselves.
Think of it like hiking up a mountain. There may be a dozen trails that all lead to the top. Some are steeper, some wind more slowly, some take you through the forest, others give you a view of the valley. Each route is different, but the destination is the same. Does it really matter which path someone takes, as long as they get there?
As humans, we like to control our environment, our circumstances, and—sometimes—other people. It gives us a sense of order and security. But trying to control others usually backfires. It creates stress, damages relationships, and plants seeds of self-doubt in the people we are trying to “help.”
Instead, we should learn to let go. You’ll find you’re happier, more at peace, and easier to be around. You can influence others through encouragement, but you can’t make their choices for them—and that’s a good thing. Everyone is unique, with their own ways of approaching challenges. By allowing people to be themselves, you not only give them room to grow, but you also open the door to being surprised by their ingenuity.
If you’re a manager at work, this is even more important. Avoid the trap of micromanagement. The best leaders don’t control every detail—they empower their teams. They encourage creativity, allow mistakes, and celebrate growth. They trust their people enough to let them shine.
Here are some motivational action steps you can take:
Pause before correcting someone—ask yourself, “Does it matter if it’s done differently?”
Replace control with curiosity: “Show me how you’d approach this.”
Practice trust by giving someone full ownership of a task.
Look for the advantages of letting go: less stress, better relationships, more creativity.
Nobody likes being controlled. It often creates resentment and resistance. But when people feel trusted, valued, and free to contribute their own way, they’re far more likely to step up, help you, and succeed alongside you.
So let go of control. You may just find that others rise higher than you ever imagined.
Make today great!
— Curtis
“Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” — Chinese Proverb